On Complying

Stab.

And the fat little piece of carrot paralysed by the plastic fork was instantly lifted from the plate to its mushy fate.

Munch. Munch. Munch. Munch.

The tongue twirled the raw tasting mush to the side of the mouth and held it there, refusing to let it down the slippery slide. Well, at least not now. The guy sure seemed to have a whole lot more to cover about his very unique way of thought and insights. Look at his plate, he was not even half done yet and her second last carrot was already on its way down to the acidic food churner. Not very polite to stare at him babbling away with her own plate empty yea? Alright. Let the carrot stay there for awhile more then.

By now the mush had gotten watery. The inside of her cheek did a little squeeze and drained the dampness off the orange lump before compressing it against the smoothness of her cheek muscles. At the same time she smiled a crooked smile at the non-stop speaker in front of her, tilting her head from side to side, trying hard to look interested. Her eyes were on his lips, which kept closing and parting every other second to start yet another clever sentence of wisdom on the oh-who-cares-topic. Her ears were open, but not for him. The canteen was fully-packed at this timing, and she was glad she had all the distractions she could have to drown out his words.

But why was she forcing herself to sit there in the middle of a noisy and stuffy canteen with a half-swallowed carrot in her mouth to look and nod at someone talking without listening to him at all? Why did she have to smile and act friendly at the same time?

Just because he was a friend. Just because he thought what he was saying was cool and she ought to listen. Just because she was afraid of being alone, especially eating alone. Just because she always gives in to whatever her friends proposed.

Is she happy?

Is she really happy?

不甘寂寞的后遗症……